Hypocri-sis

This time of the year is the one I most hate. I really don't know why but I probably have a clue. Anyway I'm not going to talk about that, I just want to express myself. To speak my mind, to let me be.
It's not my case to feel anxiety or happiness neither for xmas nor for the year coming. I believe that people are kind of hypocrite as they show extremely joy for the family dinner each year. They are used to talking bullshit among their relatives but that night everything is forgiven. I'm not saying this isn't true but I find it rather dishonest. Why the hell am I supposed to spend the night with people I dislike? Why do they make me go through this shit?
At this point I clarify my point of view. As I've been thinking all these years and I still do, they give a shit about me. I'm invisible. They don't care. It doesn't even matter if I disagree. It's useless to disagree.
So then I'm stuck in between being part of the hypocrites or stick to my ideals of what really means to me Christmas. A shitty old-fashioned non-sense familiar mealtime where you've got to be smiling at each other pretending to be fools just for a couple of hours.
I'm not like that. When are they going to understand it? Fuck Christmas,  fuck everything. I'm sure to say that the ninetiefth percent of the people don't even go to church to celebrate what it's really everything about, Christ's birth.