Cross my heart and hope to die

Two months ago he told me he was coming again to Buenos Aires in May. As I'm a moron I believed him. What a stupid decision!
Now it's time to face reality. Now I realize that he'll never come back, that he's just messing with me, that he actually doesn't care about me. I can't believe how foolish was from me to expect something from him.
So much time wasted on illusions. How could I have ever trusted him? How much did he mean to me? How did all this happen?
It was simple. Sex. No strings attached. Until one day he decided to mess with my head. With my heart. With my feelings. Why? Why did he do that? Why did he do that to me? I just don't understand and I hope someday I will.
Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I shouldn't have said no to his conditions. Maybe I should have told him what I wanted.
I can't help missing him. I can't help thinking about him. I can't help feeling the way I do.
But time's up. I have waited long enough for nothing. Absolutely nothing. Holding to a crumb of hope that isn't going to arrive.
Now it's going to get harder. But at least I'm aware and awake to say that this is the end. Nothing more and nothing less.
I needed some closure and I think that this is the time I was waiting for. No more tears, no more hope.
Just remember that no matter how hard it gets, it eventually will get better.